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Robin Bair, 32, of Jackson Township and her husband, Nick, 29, thought they knew just about everything they could about childbirth.
Nobody told them their children could have contrary plans.
Being pregnant with twins, Robin had many ultrasounds, and the couple was sure they'd have a C-section based on how one baby was positioned.
"We weren't paying attention during (childbirth) class, goofing off," Nick said.
"At the very last minute, she turned," Robin said.
After many hours of waiting and an hour and a half of pushing, Luke Michael, 5 pounds, 3 ounces, was born at 9:25 p.m. May 6 at York Hospital.
Robin took a deep breath and prepared for what she thought would be an additional hour or so of pushing before her second child would be delivered. Nobody told her that her daughter had other plans - again.
At 9:26 p.m., Taylor Lee arrived.
Taylor and Luke will undoubtedly have many more surprises in store for their parents, but Nick and Robin seem up to the task. Nick was casually holding 1-day-old Luke in one arm, while Robin tried to rest on her hospital bed.
When asked what surprised him most about childbirth, he turned his head toward his wife.
"How hard it was physically," he said. "I was a wrestler and a boxer. After that, I was like, wow, she's pretty tough."
Here is what some other new parents said nobody told them about childbirth:
· LeeAnne Barnett, 29, of York Township had twins Parker James and Addison Mae at 9:38 and 9:39 a.m. May 4 at York Hospital.
"Nobody told me how much I'd depend on my husband during the pregnancy and delivery," said LeeAnne, whose pregnancy was complicated by high blood pressure, low respiratory rates and anemia. "The nursing staff here is absolutely amazing, but at some point you have to depend on each other."
She said, being naturally independent, having to ask her husband, Jason, for help getting out of bed, a glass of water or even a tissue, is hard.
Jason, wearing a "Dad of Twins" T-shirt featuring small pink and blue footprints, said nobody told him he'd be so affected by fatherhood.
"When I watched them being delivered, a swelling of emotion came over me that I never would've expected. It sort of crept up on me," said Jason, looking down at his newborn son. "But with good reason."
· Christina and Jamie Getz of Red Lion said not much surprised them about Payton Eleanor's May 5 arrival at York Hospital.
The C-section had been planned and mirrored their daughter Alexandria's birth four years earlier.
"This we both agree: We're much more relaxed," Christina said.
Readers share their experiences and what nobody told them about childbirth below:
Name: Paula Hostler
Age: 40
Residence: Springfield Township
What nobody tells you:
Nobody ever tells you that birth is amazing and powerful, an experience to be savored and treasured. During my journey through five pregnancies, I have learned to trust my instincts. In trusting myself, I have grown as a woman while also becoming a better mother for my children. I have come to realize that birth belongs at home where a new baby is welcomed by those who love him, where a midwife can gently support your birth choices.
Giving birth is women's work, and what you feel and smell and take in during the moments of birth has the potential to change you forever.
Name: Erin A. Tcheuffa, certified birth doula
Residence: Williamsport, Md.
What nobody tells you:
I wish someone had told me that my experience was normal. It was wonderful, powerful and downright fun. I wish someone told me that the average birth was ecstatic like mine, but they didn't. It's uncommon to have a great story to tell, and I feel a little guilty being one of the few who truly enjoys birth. It was hard work, yes. But I had studied, really studied, how to have an enjoyable, empowering experience, and I got it with a little help from my doulas and a certified nurse midwife who knew what normal birth was really like.
Name: Edith LoBianco
Age: 73
Residence: Dallastown
What nobody tells you:
I wish someone would have told me that I would be alone in a room for almost 48 hours of labor. I had gone to the doctor the day before; he never told me it would be a hard delivery as my baby came butt-first.
Also, he knew I was in hard labor and never showed up for my delivery. An intern I didn't know delivered my baby. I ripped when my baby was born, and the intern told me there was so much pressure, he had to catch my baby like a football. I had 74 stitches in and outside, and my baby and I almost died.
I am happy that today things are much safer, that you have a nice delivery room and that your husband can be there for support. Thank God for that.
Name: Teresa Gill
Residence: York
What nobody tells you:
I wish someone had told me about the mucus plug when I was pregnant with my son the summer of 2005. I didn't know anything after 31 weeks, so the plug breaking, the blood, the worry, the scare, and the trip to the York Hospital's ER were all new to me.
But it was all worth it when my son was laid on my belly (umbilical cord and all) by my doctor on Aug. 2, 2005.
Name: Julie Kell
Age: 44
Residence: Windsor Township
What nobody tells you:
My first born was delivered by Cesarean section. I was told I would have no feeling below the waist. Wrong! I had no feeling anywhere, not even in my face.
I am adopted, and the birth of my son was literally meeting my biological family for the first time in 27 years. I was devastated that I was unable to hold him, touch him, kiss him or nurse him. I felt robbed of a mother's God-given right and dream of holding her newborn. I've forgiven and moved on. However, I strongly suggest that women get a full explanation of all possible complications of Cesarean sections.
Name: Lisa A. Cox
Residence: Pedricktown, N.J.
What nobody tells you:
1. Get an epidural - I had one with all three of my children. Your husband is more likely to choke on his own saliva on the way to the hospital - which is what my husband did with our last child - than you or your unborn having an adverse reaction to the epidural.
2. Make sure you and your doctor are on the same page. Some doctors see nothing wrong with letting you suffer for 24 hours or more - insane.
3. Don't yell and scream. Try to stay as calm as possible. In a hospital, the screamers are irrational and get ignored, the calm ones are the "troopers" and get what they want.
4. Why does everyone want to be in your room after you've just delivered a baby? Because they're selfish and they just don't care that you are tired, in a lot of pain and look like crap.
STATISTICS
4,138,349 births were registered in the United States in 2005, 1 percent more than in 2004.
2,873,918 births were vaginal.
The average age at first birth for U.S. women is 25.2 years in 2005, which is nearly four years older than the average age in 1970.
About 22.3 percent of labors were induced in the U.S. in 2005, more than double the rate in 1990 (9.5 percent).
A record high of 30.3 percent of U.S. births were by Cesarean section in 2005. This is a 4 percent increase over 2004.
12.7 percent of all U.S. births were pre-term in 2005.
The twin birth rate of 2005 was 32.2 twins per 1,000 births, same as 2004.
- National Center for Health Statistics, National Vital Statistics Reports, Vol. 56, No. 6, Dec. 5, 2007.
The series
Numerous how-to books, articles and TV specials have been made about important life events such as marriage, college, retirement and childbirth. We think it would be more interesting to find out what people wish they had known before reaching these milestones. We're asking readers to think about what no one told them about 12 significant life events - one for each month of 2008 - to help others prepare for the future.
What's next?
With Father's Day approaching, we'd like to know what nobody told you about being a dad. Send your response, in 100 words or less, to jvogelsong@ydr.com or to the York Daily Record/Sunday News c/o Jennifer Vogelsong, 1891 Loucks Road, York19408-9708. Include your name, age, the municipality where you live and a daytime phone number. Please also include the name(s) and age(s) of your children. Deadline is May 19.
