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She wants to feel her son's heart beat one more time since he was pronounced dead Aug. 9, 2006, and his organs were harvested at Penn State Hershey Medical Center.
"I want to see where my son's heart went and put my hand on his chest. I want to feel his heart beat," Saunders said Tuesday.
Life has been hard since Christopher Chase Saunders, 6, died after being struck by a car Aug. 8 in Red Lion. Saunders said she finds some strength and comfort knowing her son saved a young boy and spared his parents the agony of burying a child.
Christopher's liver helped save a 7-year-old, and his kidneys went to two adults. Saunders wants to meet those people too but has to wait a year under the guidelines of the Gift of Life organ donor program.
"We can't have our son, but we could spare someone else from going through pain we were going through," Saunders said.
Earlier this month, a 20-year-old Windsor Township woman, Megan N. Simpson, was charged with homicide by vehicle, accidents involving death, driving under the influence and careless driving.
Police say she was speeding, under the influence of drugs and on a cell phone when her car struck Christopher as he was crossing South Main Street, near Lancaster Avenue, in Red Lion. She also left the scene of the accident, police said.
Saunders said she understands accidents happen and there
For some time, Saunders said, she waited to hear from the driver with some words of acknowledgement or sympathy. She heard nothing and said she has nothing to say to the driver.
"At first it might have made a difference. But not now," Saunders said.
Saunders said Simpson's arrest brings little satisfaction.
She said she is depressed most of the time.
Her 9-year-old son, Michael, sits and stares out the window, not wanting to go outside and play or talk about what happened. Michael saw Christopher fly through the air - a distance police estimated 87 feet - after he was struck, his mother said.
Saunders' 13-year-old daughter, Jennifer, still drifts in and out of shock. Her mother said she is haunted by running up and seeing Christopher's body.
Saunders said she learned that, as she was following police to the hospital, Jennifer sat on the curb and couldn't move. She had to be helped away.
"I don't think I will ever have closure because I don't have my son," she said.
Christopher was a happy and cheerful child, very boyish and always smiling. His mom remembers how he would help the neighbors doing yard work by filling the bird feeder and planting flowers. He loved his older sister and brother, she said.
In life and in death, Christopher was special, she said.
"My little boy touched the hearts of so many," Saunders said.
The family refuses to forget Christopher. They gathered together on Sept. 27 for a balloon release on what would have been his seventh birthday. Saunders said she watched as the balloons drifted into the sky toward heaven, to Christopher.
"There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. It is very hard to get on with my life," Saunders said.
